Peter

When Time Stood Still

Do you have a brain injury like me?
the confusion, tears and pain
and it's only our loved ones who get to see
my emotions are a mess, I don't know why
so I go back to bed
and cry and cry
depression drags me down, more pills to take
I give in to the signs
my family need a break
I forget how to dress, I often get dizzy
so I want to tell the doctor
but he's always too busy
sometimes he listens, while reading my file
but what do I get back?
Just a patronising smile
old friends say "Hi" then hurry on their way
I've changed so much
they don't know what to say
for me time stood still and I didn't realise
how inward looking I became
trying to answer the why's
I know it sounds strange but I'm happier now
yeah, that's what I said, happier!
Now let me tell you how
I've told you some lows now listen to the highs
how grateful every day
when I see the sun rise
you should have died on that dirty floor
but fate has decreed
that I do an encore
adversity has made me stronger
and I don't take for granted
my loved ones any longer
so try to stay positive, it's the only way
and if by chance you see me
come over and say g'day.

The Assault

Walking across the paddock,
I did it every day,
often I'd meet Norm
along the way.
We spoke of weather,
crims who misbehave
mad ones, bad ones,
the freedom they crave.

We part on the compound,
I open up the laundry,
don't forget the milk
for the all important coffee.
But the voice on the intercom
says the boiler will not fire.
That Kybus is useless, it's a
shame he won't retire,
I'm thinking of burners at the boiler room door,
not aware of what destiny
has in store.
Now life is flowing from me on the workshop floor.

Coma, nightmares and a
constant mortal fear,
if I close my eyes
will Jackson reappear?
Frank says it's good
that I don't recall,
the vicious attempt
to scale the wall.
But there's a burning inside
that I can't control
and so I remain
in a deep, dark hole.

Dying Is Trying

I wanted to die, my life was in a bog,
took sleeping pills, felt sick as a dog.
Fetched the rifle, aimed for the head,
missed completely, wounded the shed.
What about hanging, was sure I would choke,
jumped off the chair, bloody rope broke.
Cut my wrist with a sharp blade,
nosy neighbour came over, knows first-aid.
Went for a drive out on the main drag,
aimed for a brick wall, damned air bag.
Out on the Harbour Bridge, was gunna jump over,
bitten on the bum by a police dog called Rover.
Bought some poison from a sleazy looking chap,
couldn't get it open, child-proof cap.
Jumped in the river, know what drowning is about,
landed in some mud, forgot about the drought.
Jumped off Sydney Heads, did a belly flopper,
got a free ride in the Westpac chopper.
Dived over-board off a bog sailing clipper,
got mouth-to-mouth from a dolphin called Flipper.
Found poison mushrooms and gave them a try,
I'm not dead, just very high.
Bought explosives, the fuses were set,
only to find my matches were wet.
All my plans have gone astray,
it sure has been a hectic day.
Trying to die leaves you very stressed,
so I'm going home to have some rest.

Published in “Thoughts and Poems” (Available from the Online Shop)